My Daddy is Blind

My Daddy is Blind-

Oh, not with his eyes

No, he can see the hills, the grass, flowers and the sea

Because they are all guilt-free

But not once has he ever seen me.

Stare as he might, all that he sees

Is a world built around what he thinks it should be-

Not so pleasant as it might seem

Because in his mind, it seems to me,

He believes he can never be free

And so he rambles around in strife-

Dragging the shackles of his self-imprisoned life

He looks at me, but all he can see

Is another way in which he has failed-

And too painful is this for him to admit

So off he goes building a “me” that will fit

The image that will allow him to feel less ashamed, less guilt

And thus, yet another “Mindy” is built

And never does he see,

Who Mindy really is, what it means to be me

Too deeply ashamed and sick of himself

Him too distant to reach,

Me too close to ignore

I believe he looks at me as a thorn

Something that constantly causes him pain,

And reminds him again and again

That no matter what he wants to see

He has failed to be a father to me.

He wants from me what I cannot give-

Absolution from the position of parent,

And a spot as a ‘friend’

My daddy is blind,

Oh, not with his eyes

No, he can see the sun and the stars in the sky

He left me asking why

Not once has he ever seen me

Never held me as I cried.

Why isn’t he able to love me?

Isn’t that how a parent should see?

With love, joy, compassion and grace?

Not just ignoring and dodging, refusing to see my face-

My Daddy is Blind-

Oh, not with his eyes

No, he can see the hills, the grass, flowers and the sea

Because they are all guilt-free

But not once has he ever seen me.

 By Mindy Hawk. All rights reserved.