Where is my Lifeline?
A
growing restlessness within stirs me from a less than placid sleep.
I
wake feeling trapped, entangled in a dark blanket of shadows interwoven with
terror and pain, weighed down with memories.
I
wade through the murky myre of uncertainty, fear, and confusion, trying to get
to the surface so that I can breath… I feel as though I am drowning in a thick
fog of pain, being dragged down into the thick soup of memories, and hurt.
A
torrent of memories beats away at my mind sending me spinning violently into
the past….
I
grasp frantically at the roots and mud as someone drags me backwards toward the
pain, hurt, through the terror….
There
is no one there to help me, no one that is willing to look at the pain… to
reach out a hand to pull me from this pain…
Those
that say they love me refuse to put themselves through the hurt of looking at
what has happened to me… how can they love me if they are unwilling to help me?
How can they love me if they blame me for what others have done?
Hurt
courses through my veins as I try so hard to find one person that will help me
try to ease the pain… I grasp at meaningless promises that crumble like dry
straw in my hands… I sob with fear as I see what I thought would be a lifeline
fall to shreds in my hands….
I
look all around me, in the immense blackness, hoping to see just one tiny spark
of light but all that I see is blackness…
I
know that there is a light out there somewhere, but I cannot see it….
I
know there is a lifeline somewhere but it is not within the reach of my
desperately grasping hands.
Will
anyone help brighten the glow of that light? Will anyone help me to know where
to reach to get hold of the lifeline? How to find my way out?
All rights reserved, written by Amy Yampanis
