Where is my lifeline?

Where is my Lifeline?

            A growing restlessness within stirs me from a less than placid sleep.

            I wake feeling trapped, entangled in a dark blanket of shadows interwoven with terror and pain, weighed down with memories.

            I wade through the murky myre of uncertainty, fear, and confusion, trying to get to the surface so that I can breath… I feel as though I am drowning in a thick fog of pain, being dragged down into the thick soup of memories, and hurt.

            A torrent of memories beats away at my mind sending me spinning violently into the past….

           

            I grasp frantically at the roots and mud as someone drags me backwards toward the pain, hurt, through the terror….

            There is no one there to help me, no one that is willing to look at the pain… to reach out a hand to pull me from this pain…

            Those that say they love me refuse to put themselves through the hurt of looking at what has happened to me… how can they love me if they are unwilling to help me? How can they love me if they blame me for what others have done?

            Hurt courses through my veins as I try so hard to find one person that will help me try to ease the pain… I grasp at meaningless promises that crumble like dry straw in my hands… I sob with fear as I see what I thought would be a lifeline fall to shreds in my hands….

            I look all around me, in the immense blackness, hoping to see just one tiny spark of light but all that I see is blackness…

            I know that there is a light out there somewhere, but I cannot see it….

            I know there is a lifeline somewhere but it is not within the reach of my desperately grasping hands.

            Will anyone help brighten the glow of that light? Will anyone help me to know where to reach to get hold of the lifeline? How to find my way out?

All rights reserved, written by Amy Yampanis